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Relationship Information
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Rhubarb Romance: A Little Honey Works Wonders Spring is in the air. It is a time of new life. There are green grass, kittens, puppies, and rhubarb. Relationship Advice: How to Ignore Your Spouse or Partner Marriage can be one of the quickest and most effective paths to taking someone special for granted. Rediscovering Love and Intimacy Wendy started counseling with me because Terence, her husband of 14 years, had just expressed to her that he wanted to end their relationship. Wendy, terrified of being alone, was panicked. Within a few minutes of speaking with her in a phone session, I understood exactly the underlying cause of their relationship problems. Whats Up With Unconditional Love? To tell you the truth, I'm a little disillusioned with the term unconditional love, lately. It's just not "natural". The phrase has been used for decades, by psychologists, therapists, A.A. types and the overall spiritually minded to describe how one should cope with impossible behavior." The original principle behind the concept, was to help the person who is being abused accept the circumstances and not have to live in a perpetual state of resentment towards their partner. You, as the codependent (ie the one who is always hurt) is supposed to see your partner as "sick" and not blame him or her for their actions. You're supposed to love and care for the adulterer, batterer, gambler, manic depressive or alcoholic the same way you would someone who has the flu. Husband comes home drunk? Sober him up with cups of black coffee and a dose of your eternally burning, unconditional love. Boyfriend unfaithful? That's O.k., because you have unconditional love for him that will last for an eternity. Girlfriends rack up your credit cards again with her compulsive shopping? You'll take care of the bills because you're love for her is undying and unconditional and you've told yourself ""I'll always love her no matter what ...." Love is Not Supposed to Hurt Questions and Answers: Love Problems Often times when a couple gets married, things get pushed off, or ignored. Earlier in the marriage, the sight-seeing, honeymoon feeling, and those fancy restaurant dates tend to decline. Why do they decline? It's not because your love for one another has become less, remember that. Your spouse may be getting tied with his work, cramming to meet deadlines, or being bossed around too much like the underdog. Maybe things are just not settling smoothly, and sometimes it feels great, sometimes normal, and sometimes crappy. Proper Flower Etiquette Flowers are great gifts for practically any occasion, but there are some basic rules of flower etiquette. With the popularity of ordering flower delivery online, some buyers may not get the sound advice they'd get from a local florist. This guide presents the real meaning behind different flower types, and when they are best used. How To Re-ignite the Fire in Your Relationship! Couples that are together for a while sometimes suffer from passion burn out. Passion or Purpose? I hate moderation. I hate doing things moderately. I hate having to be controlled, mature, and disciplined. I don't want to moderate how much I eat or drink. I don't want to be moderate with sex, or playing, or vacations. I don't want to moderate what I say for fear it will offend. I don't want to do what's "good for me." Romantic Tips ? Gift Giving I believe that we have all heard of the standard romantic gifts. Chocolate, flowers, and jewelry, but there is something to be said for the man who thinks out side the box when gift giving holidays roll around. The Flames of Love Suppose you have everything; a good job, good health, good reputation, good relationships and lot of money to spend. But still there is something missing from your life. Guess what? The LOVE. It is not something which you should ignore. Life without love is just like body without soul. Relationship Advice: Two Tips for Great Relationships Relationship Tip 1 Got a Girlfriend? Heres How Not to Screw It Up Having a girlfriend can be a dangerous thing. We become too dependent on our woman for our happiness, and then if we get dumped, we find that we've all of a sudden lost our confidence. This results in having trouble meeting new women, being without sex for many months, until we finally get a girlfriend again, and... the cycle repeats. So to break this cycle, we need to REMAIN the attractive guy, the alpha male. You see, relationships can make us guys too lazy (since the sex is so easy) and we lose that "high value" mindset. It's crucial to keep that alpha male frame of mind that says, "I am like a Lamborghini." Do Lamborghini dealerships grovel to try to get people to like them? Of course not. Instead they allow all the buyers to come to them. Hell, Lamborghini doesn't even advertise. As a man, you should have a similar confident mindset if you want to maximize the attraction your girlfriend feels for you. So, how do you keep that alpha mindset? First and foremost, avoid chasing your girlfriend like a puppy dog. A basic concept which will prevent her from ever treating you badly is what I call Punishment and Reward. If a woman engages in behavior which you disapprove of, punish her by withdrawing your time and focusing on something (or someone) else. If she does something you like (such as having sex with you), reward her by giving her more of your time, talking about her feelings, etc. So whenever you do something nice for her, do it because you're rewarding her. And DO reward her good behavior, if you want more of it. Like I said, Punishment and Reward. Then there's the issue of being a challenge. Women act sweet when you're a challenge to them. They act bitchy when they take you for granted and no longer feel like they need put out effort to win your affections. Often by around month 6 in a relationship is when a woman really starts to take a guy for granted, so avoid that by remaining a challenge. So the solution to remaining the attractive, alpha guy in your relationships is threefold: 1. Always be willing to focus your time on things other than your girlfriend. Don't reward her for acting bitchy by continuing to be around her when she does. On the other hand, too, reward her for good behavior by giving her more of your time when she acts sweet. 2. Always have it in the back of your mind that you could end the relationship at any time. Don't explicitly threaten her with that, but just make it a subtle implication. That way she'll never become truly comfortable with the relationship and will keep working to win you. 3. Always allow her to think that's she's just a little bit more interested in you than you are in her. Again, this can be very subtle, but if (for example) you're telling her 20 times a day that you love her, and she's only telling you that twice, then obviously the situation is badly out of whack. 5 Surefire Ways to Arouse Your Woman As there are different types of women, there are different ways to arouse them as well. If you have been in a bit of a slump here are some quick ways to rev up your love life: Did Casanova Really Need the Oysters? Scientists are rubbing their hands together with glee. A recent study of underwater creatures proves conclusively that oysters have certain properties that could very well enhance performance in the bedroom. Thus it follows, say the scientists in great satisfaction, that Casanova's reputation as the world's greatest lover can now be put down definitely to his voracious appetite for oysters. Conflict In Faith Direct Answers - Column for the week of July 19, 2004 After Retirement Separation - Life Just Gets Better! Life after retirement separation can be a very lonely one especially if you have no family of your own. You tend not to go out as often as you did when you were a couple. You may also have a complex that being older is harder and more difficult to meet new people. This may be so for many people but do not forget that are hundreds of people out there that are in the same situation as yourself. They too are lonely and without a partner after retirement separation. Relationship Advice: Powerful Tips for Staying Close and Connected Staying close in your relationship does not just happen. Assuming Personal Responsibility in Relationships Stephen Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families says that responsibility is really the " ability to choose our response." We don't have to respond to stimuli and triggers the same way we have always done. We do have a choice. It may take some practice and a real commitment on our part to let go of old patterns and try something new, but it is worth it in peace of mind, deeper relationships and conversations that don't end in arguments. The kind of communication we seek depends on a number of things; mutual respect and courtesy, a willingness to listen to other points of view and good timing. Relationship Advice: 5 Tips to Make a Strong Marriage Even Better 1. Time together is time during which the complete focus is on each other. That means no TV, no newspaper, no kids. I know, I know, that's hard in our over-busy culture. But stop and consider for a moment: Can you think of many things that are really more important?
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